August 26, 2017

Control freak

Control freak normaly used to describe someone in a relationship who likes to dictate your every move.

In my case that, not the reason! My brain has some how convinced me that I can’t travel, as much as I try to travel on trains it tries to convince me it’s a bad move. My brain has become a control freak and thinks it’s some how better than me.

I have tried every thing to prove my control freak of a brain wrong but still, it comes up trumps. 

Only a few weeks ago after talking to a client, did I try to apply for a driving theory test. I managed to get on gov page to apply and pay my £23.00, before I could even finish that horrible feeling of being locked in and not being able to get out came over me, filling me with dread.

I’ve tried to convince my self that I would be ok and that my brain would win as it would be in control of the car and could stop any time.

It’s a horrible feeling when you really want to do something but something else tries its best to take over with a better idea.


Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. I am really adverse to getting on planes right now, to the point that I won’t travel to see friends at present. I don’t even know why planes are a thing because I have PTSD from a car wreck, but I’m really frustrated that something I can’t nail down is keeping me from doing something I would really enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Traveling on planes is a hard one as its not as simple as trying to travel on trains. You can turn up to a train station any day and try and jump on a train. Unfortunately its not that easy with most airports, as most airports wont refund your ticket like a train station will.
      I really hope you can find a way that will help you to travel. Take care x

      Liked by 1 person


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About anxiety and me

Hi my name is Michael, i have suffered with panic disorder since 2009. From 2009 to about 2013 anxiety ruled my world and prevented me from doing all the things i loved and enjoyed doing.


Anxiety, anxtious, panic, panic attacks, panic disorder